I beat two trees!

Oh no I fucking didn't. Two trees are doing high fives right now, they kicked my ass



This is me, at Mass General Hospital, 4 days later. I'm just gonna say OUCH.

Apparently, I crushed the swim (picture not included)

4 miles into the bike, the reports say I kinda passed out, and keeled over my handlebars.

Thanks helmet. Oh, wait, maybe not so much.
That bright spot is from my helmet abrading the back of my skull, like a cheese grater. I think next year I'm wearing Lord Vader's full face mask.

Oh yeah, the Team Angry team uniform, which was scissored off me by the first guy with a sharp pair of shears, may also have been a tactical error, as I have found 6 new abrasions

All in all, pretty successfull outing.

I was the best member of Team Angry this year, and if I could remember ANYTHING from the 38 hours following my getting my breakfast Saturday morning, I would tell you. There were monster hero EMTs, and a monster hero nursing student who were first at the scene, to whom I owe ENORMOUS thanks for saving my life, The Gilford FD EMTs for the same thing, Whoever it was the FLEW MY ALMOST LIFELESS CORPSE ON A GAT- DAMNED MED FLIGHT to Mass General (wow, you guys kick ass, I am really sorry I missed that), The Medical team at LRGH that recognized I was beyond their experience and called in the big leage. and the neighbors at 35 whatthehellever street I was on when I tried my Evel Knevil impression.

Total score so far, broken maxiofacial bones, 2 cracked ribs, sore teeth, 2 black eyes, huge scabs on the backs of both hands, and one knee. And a urinary tract catheter that I am desperately trying to forget. Especially the blood colored urine I passed into Lord Bouve's future Captain Morgan cup. (Yeah, that I CAN'T forget. Thanks Odin, you suck)

Oh yeah, incipient heart problems that is the only thing I directly inherited from my paternal grandfather. I would have preferred the fishing boat, all things considered. Fucking Canadians...

Oh, yeah, one utterly destroyed ego. BTW, MUSFM.